ep 1: how did i ended up here

wow. first time being here. why?

— i was scrolling through tiktok, then i saw a post saying "i stalked my crush using chatgpt" so macam, hmm.. let me use this information to do my evil stuff !

— ended up only looking for information about my family.. but it was fun regardless. wasn't expecting much but the results was more than what i was expected.

— came across an information about my sister, there's a blog linked to it. so i went in there. wasn't expecting much too, but i somehow was interested with this blog thingy.

"mcm tok ka hidup zman dlok?" i was there, ofc, but all i remember was me climbing up trees and shouting at my childhood friend.

it felt like, i dont know how to explain. but looking at people's personality back then was something else. i feel nostalgic, people used to be so expressive. but these days? semua sik mok be expressive. why? because it's cringe. they tend to act nonchalant these days. it seem cool, they said. or from what ive observed. this trait made them look like they don't give a shit about the world, but i know them well it was all because of those damn anxieties AHA. ive been there. but i am woke now. they care too much about how people perceive them, to the point they would set the 'nonchalant' shit or forced it to themselves. well, some.

anyway. it feels great being here. i hope no one sees this. it's just me randomly being here because i have nowhere else to rant or talk. notes? classic, and boring. used to that. twitter? i don't have twitter. plus, i know twitter becoming bitter, or has been. tiktok? i dont post anything, but i be reposting everything i find interesting. boyfriend? he knew a lot about me already. well, what more does he need to know? whenever i have problems, he solves. gives solutions. he did what he supposed to do, so thank you, boyfriend. being here just, for fun. i have no intention with interacting whatsoever. leave, me, alone.

(or was she just aware that she's a loony)

another reason is that, maybe i am tired with the fact that my hand cramps and my middle finger gets pregnant whenever i write on my journal. the fact that my thoughts are faster than my hands, i can barely see what i was writting, so.. maybe this is useful.

nice to meet u, whoever reads this (wont be).